How to Stay Out of Jail

It’s funny, the weird topics you discuss with friends sometimes. Just the other day some friends at work and I were talking about why we wouldn’t ever want to do anything that would send us to jail. I don’t even remember now how we started down that road…

The thing that made the top of our list was having to look at the same four walls (or three walls and a barred door) every day. Second – and this really should be in the top spot — no bathroom privacy… That alone should be enough to cause all the jails to have to close down for lack of interest.

Don’t people think about things like that before they commit crimes? It’s not worth it. Well, that and the fact that crime hurts other people. Is stealing that car really worth having to share a tiny cell with Jocko, your new prison pal?? I guess the thrill of the steal is exhilarating enough to blind people from thinking about it — at least for a little while. They could get the same feeling riding a roller coaster at Dollywood – and get to go home at the end of the day.

That’s not the only reason to avoid the slammer.

Two words — jail food. I’ve never experienced jail food, but I imagine it’s not the greatest. You can forget trying out all those wonderful Pinterest recipes for bon bons and cheesy bread at your next party. There won’t be any parties. There again, another reason to reconsider doing something that would make you go to jail. Jail is no fun – no matter what you’ve heard, They take away your shoe laces, too.

So, our consensus was to steer clear of jail and live happy, healthy lives. Hopefully more people will decide to join us and we’ll start a big “stay out of jail” movement. Communities will be better, the country will benefit as a whole and we’ll all get to keep out shoelaces.

 

 

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